english blog

Jeff: "Your entire identity has been consumed by your relationship with another man." Troy: "You found my Clive Owen Tumblr?!?" h/t Grantland .

Objection from a former sailor. (via Bad Newspaper )

FILM REVIEW: #KeanuReeves starrer "47 Ronin" is visually dazzling but thoroughly bogus, writes @AskDebruge . http://t.co/3s4A5X6Fp6 — Variety (@Variety) December 23, 2013 "Visually dazzling but thoroughly bogus" sounds about right, yeah. h/t Bryko .

If you check my LibraryThing account , you'll see that I have 15 books tagged "pigs," and those are just a few of my favorites.  Sometimes I even have a pig-themed storytime. Here's another book of preposterous porcine protagonists to add to my list of favorites! Teague, Mark. 2013. The Three Little Pigs and the Somewhat Bad Wolf. New York: Scholastic. (review copy provided by publisher) The three comically large, anthropomorphic pigs are painted with Mark Teague's signature bold colors and droll style. They are as humorous as the story itself. The opening double-spread finds two pigs in their pen, playing basketball in a pile of mud, surrounded by empty soda bottles and scattered potato chips. A third pig, also in the pen, is seated in an armchair reading a book, a neatly chewed apple next to him on a smartly appointed white tablecloth.  All three pigs look toward the farmer, Once there were three little pigs.  They lived on a farm, as most pigs do, and were h...

(via stonecoldstunning ) I certainly don't want to do drugs after seeing it, anyways.

Jingle bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg The Batmobile lost a wheel And the Joker got away

I recently finished two short, easy-reading chapter books by two very popular authors - Kate DiCamillo and Jeff Kinney. DiCamillo, Kate . 2013. Flora & Ulysses: The Illuminated Adventures . Somerville, MA: Candlewick. (Illustrated by K.G. Campbell) Kate DiCamillo is nothing if not unique.  Whether gifting us with the mystical, magical, Magician's Elephant , the breath of fresh air that was Mercy Watson , or the delightfully improbable hero, Despereaux , DiCamillo never shies away from a new horizon.  In fact, I feel as if she has as much fun writing her books as we have reading them. How else, but in a spirit of fun and adventure, could she gather Flora - a "natural-born cynic," and avid reader of The Illuminated Adventures of the Amazing Incandesto Ulysses - a dreamy, poetic squirrel with a superpower (typing), garnered from the interior of a super-suction, multi-terrain vacuum William Spiver - a temporarily blind boy who prefers to be known by his complete name, so ...

In the words of the immortal Rick James: "cocaine is a hell of a drug." What's with the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers appear in commercials recently, though? The commercial for that Samsung Galaxy Note smartwatch includes several clips from MMPR. I'm not complaining, however, because I fucking love Mighty Morphin Power Rangers . That was my shit when I was a kid, right up until Power Rangers: Turbo. I'm sorry, but a ten year old Power Ranger was just a bridge too far for me. I don't think they ever explained how his body changed into a full-size adult's when he morphed.

Gaiman, Neil. 2013. Fortunately, the Milk . New York: Harper Collins. With Mum out of town and the fridge out of milk, a boy and his sister await their father's return from the store with milk for breakfast.  After an interminably long wait, he comes homes and relates a most outlandish story (frequently interrupted by his son) explaining his lengthy absence.  Much occurred on his journey, but fortunately, he managed to save the milk.  Is it a true story? You decide. Something very long with a head on the end of it came over to us.  It was attached to a very large body, on the other side of the room. "Who are you?" it asked Professor Steg, "And why is your gorilla holding a transtemporally dislocated milk container?" "I am not a gorilla," I said.  "I am a human father." "The human is holding the milk in order to make these evil redecorating snot-bubbles go away and stop menacing this planet and us," said Professor Steg. The Diplodocu...

Credit: Our Valued Customers . Yeah, this guy* clearly had no idea what he was talking about - Whovians are just as crotchety as any other fandom. Popular subjects to bitch about: Why Stephen Moffatt is a sexist twit who is absolutely ruining Doctor Who Why do people dislike Martha Jones? <Nine, Ten, Eleven> is the best Doctor! Etc., etc., etc... *In case you've never read Our Valued Customers, the strips are based on actual things the writer/artist, Mr. Tim has overheard at the comic shop he works at.